BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
