a queef is a wish your heart makes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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