operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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