I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
