Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
