You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
