I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The beer is more important than you right now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
