I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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