Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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