now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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