I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
