I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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