You just made me feel so damn special
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
