i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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