I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
