Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
