yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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