I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
