Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
