Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize