Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
