She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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