Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
