just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
