Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
