sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
