You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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