How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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