i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize