Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Drake has all the answers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
