Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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