ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I need a burrito and a hug.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
