he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
