mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
