i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize