i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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