Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No subtext here. People are naked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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