dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
