Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
