Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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