why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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