Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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