i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
