I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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