$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
