Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
