Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
