i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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