Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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