I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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