A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
