Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
