he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
