dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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