Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
