O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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