Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
