The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
