Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
