Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
