Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
