Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
