I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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