And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize