Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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