ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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