I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
