i need an iv and a liver transplant
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
