Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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