Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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