Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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