We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
