OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
