I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
