I wish I could teleport
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
