holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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