Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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