a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What a dumb baby whore.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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