I want to have your abortion
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
