He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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