It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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