question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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