Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize